Sometimes life is like a box of chocolates. Other times it’s like a Waffle House jukebox on random play. We began the session, like so many others, in a jail. After beating down the guards to the sound of Johnny Cash, they are introduced to “Chari” a poor girl who was unjustly imprisoned for her youthful indiscretion. The team manages to escape without taking a detour through the trash compactor. Filled with distrust, the team eventually leaves Chari to her own devices and seek out their own shelter. Moments later she is kidnapped. Ordinarily this would lead to a careful investigation filled with diplomacy, intrigue, stealth, and broken kneecaps. Instead, somebody taped down the fast forward button leaving our party to time-hop through just enough scenes to learn that Chari is really Lady Halam, a princess rebelling under the thumb of her father. We are relived to learn that after slaying a dwarf named Bowser that the princess is, in fact, in this castle.